How to tell people you're taking a break from alcohol?

Why does it feel so awkward? I was curious

CURIOUS ON LIFE: the blog vol. 15

Rebecca Guevara Wingler

Creator of Color: Language of the Soul Watercolor Workshop Series

Artist/ Creative Life & Certified TNM Coach/ Podcaster

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Why was it so weird to announce that I was taking a break from alcohol?

Over 2 years ago now, I made the decision to do just that.

There are ways to do this, but not feeling uncomfortable doing it is another thing all together, at least that was the case for me.

I was a wee bit nervous about letting others know, but why? I chuckle about it now, but it was a thing at first.

An obvious reason I think, is fear of judgment.

I drank red wine daily, every evening for years and years.

So naturally everyone in my orbit knew that about me. I remember wondering.......

Will I be judged or criticized by others?

Will I be viewed as boring, morally superior or uptight now?

Of course no one did, as far as I know, but even if they had, I realize that it says more about their own internal dialog, than about what I'm doing.

And then, there are social norms and expectations?

The pressure to fit in and avoid standing out.

How will I loosen up to feel relaxed and more comfortable without a lubricant?

What if my circle of friends or family feel judged by me, and simply not understanding why I would choose to take a break and not have wine?

Would there be a lack of understanding?

Would they think I have a problem? , hit rock bottom? a DUI.? on and on.

The answer to those questions for me is no, but clearly I knew I was drinking way more than was healthy for me,

I wasn't feeling my best and my creativity and energy where hindered.

Here are somethings to consider:

If you are drinking more than you would like to be, there is something beautiful in questioning that behavior. There really is.

But first, if you are beating yourself up for it, that isn't helpful at all.

We think that if we get mad enough, then change will eventually happen. But that is the worst thing we can do because change in patterns and behavior comes from self compassion, and when we love ourselves.

When you decide you want to experiment and are ready for a break you can work with someone who has been through it.

You can receive one on one support, and/or find a group of like minded people.

Here is an exercise for you... practice saying these sentences.

(These all ended up to be true statements for me!)

I'm not drinking right now because......

I'm taking a break for a health cleanse

I realized I'm happier not drinking

I feel better when I'm not drinking

I look better when I'm not drinking

I'm breaking up with booze

Leaning into discomfort makes us stronger and gives us confidence.

For me I love to say, "It started out an experiment and ended up a lifestyle."

"We can't be afraid of change.

You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in,

but if you never venture out of it,

you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea."

C. Joybell

If you would like more information around sober curiosity and a lifestyle supporting one, you can contact me, and learn more

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Thank you for reding

with love and wonder,

Rebecca

Nurturing vs Numbing

Nurturing me.............What did this even mean? I was curious.

CURIOUS ON LIFE: the blog vol. 14

Rebecca Guevara Wingler

Creator of Color Language of the Soul workshop series

Artist/ Creative Life Coach/ Certified TNM Coach

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I don't remember having an appreciation for the term "self awareness" as an important principle for gaining insight into my patterns and triggers, good and bad..

Wasn't being "self aware" something arrogant? conceded?

I have learned that to develop an understanding of my strengths, weaknesses, values, and desires is positive. It is important to engage in practices and to adopt habits for personal growth, and sense of fulfillment.

At mid-life , my journey evolved into a better understanding of self care, it was a bit foreign to have thoughts around what that meant., for me.

Why? don't know really, was it a vibe? a societal message? cultural message?something silly, who knows?

In my opinion it can be harmful to our spirit to not love and nurture the light within us.

In my experience, life is imperfect and wonderful.

Along with the blessings, adventures, romance and bliss, come the heartache, disappointments, betrayals and loss.

It can feel like a spiral. And at different stages in our life span, we simply can feel lost and overwhelmed.

If we haven't learned to love and nurture and work through our painful and uncomfortable situations we can bury the distressful darkness with unpleasant or unhealthy behaviors.

Humans numb whether through substances, unhealthy coping mechanisms or emotional detachment which have various effects on our mental, physical and spiritual well-being.

Mental effects of numbing:......... this can lead to emotional numbing, making it difficult to experience and process emotions fully. Looking back this was an issue for me. I was not good at expressing verbally.

Physical effects: depending on the method of "numbing", the adverse physical consequences can be organ damage, weakened immune system, heart issues and other physical aliments. It can have negative impact on self care practices, proper nutrition, or regular exercise.

Spiritual effects: numbing ourselves can create a disconnection from our authentic selves, personal growth, self discovery and self actualization because, they are all hindered,.

It can make it challenging to engage with deeper existential questions, and the exploration of life's meaning and purpose.

In what ways can we nurture ourselves?

Practicing self-care by spending time in nature and soaking up its benefits.

Setting boundaries and learning to say no when necessary.

Drinking and eating balanced and nourishing food to support health.

New ways of cultivating self compassion.

Journaling, talking to trusted friend or seeking professional guidance.

Reflect on your values, beliefs and purpose in life., connect with a sense of something greater than yourself.

This can involve exploring spiritual beliefs, engaging in behaviors that bring a sense of meaning.

Participate in workshops, retreats, or seminars that promote personal growth and self love.

In closing, remember that self nurturing is a personal journey, and it's important to find what works best for you.

Be curious about you and your uniqueness. Be curious about prioritizing you and make it a regular part of your routine to cultivate a healthy and fulfilling life.

As a certified creative life coach, and grey area drinking coach I help women find their way to the next chapter or to a new future.

I offer workshops and courses through out the year for further transformation and exploration.

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CURIOUS ON LIFE THE PODCAST

listen to episodes here

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Thanks for reading!

with love, Rebecca

learn more here

How to"FEEL" Beautiful at 50 and Beyond? I was curious.

CURIOUS ON LIFE: the BLOG vol. 13

Rebecca Guevara Wingler

Creator of Color Language of the Soul workshop Series

Artist/ Creative Life coach/ Certified TNM Coach

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"AGE IS SIMPLY THE NUMBER OF YEARS THE WORLD HAS BEEN ENJOYING YOU."

I remember approaching Fifty!

I remember wondering what would happen next. I was definitely curious and not necessarily in a positive way.

I wondered how I would feel, moving forward.

I'm talking about all of me, not just physically, my body but more importantly my mind and spirit too..

Most of us in the States, have been groomed to believe that turning "50" for women, is a time to feel nothing but dread.

For a very long time, approaching midlife has not been something to look forward to in our society, especially women because there is the sense that they have lost much value and don't have much to contribute or to offer after 50.

Wow! what are we doing to our young girls and women with these attitudes.

And now that I'm well beyond 50 into the next decade, I realize how wrong this message is.

Not just from a general sense of respect but wrong because, it's a big fat lie! B.S!

What have I learned regarding midlife 10 years in, and then some is this.

That in these years of life, we women are at our finest in so many areas.

We have to peel back layers of stories and beliefs we've adopted that just aren't valid.

Why women continue to be empowered and beautiful after 50 and beyond.

1. Wisdom: They have a wealth of knowledge and can offer guidance and advice to others. Someone who has gained wisdom through their experiences can offer profound insights in a way that is elegant, inspiring, and beautiful.

2. Confidence: They have learned to be comfortable in their own skin and have a strong sense of self. My own experience has taught me that this confidence only gets better beyond 50!

3. Resilience: They have likely faced many challenges in their lives and have learned resilience. Having more of an ability to bounce back from setbacks and coming out even stronger. Strength is beautiful.

4. Creativity: There is more time and more resources to pursue creative endeavors. More time to spend painting, writing, dancing. and other experiences that allow them to express themselves. Creativity opens up a spirt of beautiful possibilities.

5. Generosity: Women over 50 often have a strong desire to give back and make a positive impact in the world by serving others. They may volunteer their time, donate to charities and mentor younger women.

6. Beauty: This sounds so cliche, Inner beauty translates to outer beauty. It happens to be true! Don't we experience this with all human beings? Many mature women I know are beautiful also because they have experience, character and perhaps have developed their unique sense of style. With age comes a sense of self acceptance, and often radiates kindness and grace making women even more beautiful. This is a creative time to recreate or enhance a style that brings YOU light. Not necessarily what's trending.

What is never Beautiful?

1. Trying to be something you are not: The media often portrays aging for women in such a negative light, with focus on youth as the only way for women to be beautiful as an ideal. This creates unrealistic standards and expectations that are difficult to live up to, which can lead to some women feeling inadequate.

We carry around this energy that is not a high vibration.

2. Living for your own self gain: Serving others can make women beautiful in a metaphorical sense, rather than a physical one. When helping others we feel a sense of connection and we have a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment. This can enhance our overall sense of well being and happiness which exudes light and beauty. Women are valid for their unique strengths and contributions regardless of whether they are involved in acts of service or not, however, NOT honoring life around us, and the wellbeing and betterment of others is not attractive let alone beautiful.

3. Lacking gratitude: Expressing gratitude enhance relationships and social connections. This strengthens bonds and creates a positive atmosphere of appreciation and kindness naturally appearing more beautiful to others, because it radiates positivity and warmth. An attitude of gratitude can enhance our inner beauty coming through to the outer.

4. NOT making your wellbeing a priority. Nothing kills beauty faster than this! Your mind, your body and your spirit needs to be a beautiful priority in a women's life at all stages but personally as we mature even more so.. Things that are not healthy.

Empty sex partners which can lead to a sense of being dismissed, used, sad and empty. Not good for our mental attitude.

Not getting regular exercise: it is very important. to move! It improves physical appearance tones muscles reduces body fat improve overall posture . So lack of movement halts the release of endorphins which improve mood and contributes to overall more attractiveness.

Drinking alcohol want to look awful quickly? Drink wine daily or any other alcohol beverage and receive these perks! Brittle hair, fine lines, bags under eyes, broken blood vessels, age spots, saggy skin, wrinkles, dark circles, dry flaky skin. Yay!

Not feeding your soul and mind: Have you stopped listening or reading books and learning. Did you stop practicing mindfulness, or no longer meditate or connect with nature? Instead repeating negative messages and fearful thinking?

It's so important to be mindful of our thoughts and what we feed our minds. Feeling inadequate, fearful, or dismissed can make us loose the love and security that the universe holds for us all.

Practice behaviors and attitudes that make you feel alive. This will make you glow.

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In closing

"The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul."

"You don't stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing".

Beautiful transformation at any age and at any stage is a way of living.

I talk about it in this episode of

CURIOUS ON LIFE the Podcast

here is the link:

PODCAST

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Thank you for reading!

With Love and Wonder.

Rebecca

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